Wonder if anyone else felt launched into a surge of elation to hear the ‘roadmap out of lockdown’ declared this week. The intention that this will be the final lockdown transported me into song, followed by a sudden rise of panic at the prospect of potential disappointment that it may not play out quite like this at all. I recognise my own tumultuous relationship with highs and lows - and how my own extreme heights of euphoria and excitement can be choked by a sudden descent into the abyss of despair. Perhaps my caution at the prospect of the world returning to ‘normal’ is influenced by my own old patterns from the past or perhaps there is also a reality in my caution which has been cemented by the setbacks and blunders of recent lockdown exits - who knows.
Easy to begin to see how the turbulent events over the last year can transport us backwards and re-activate old patterns of feelings and behaviour which have connections to past experiences and can unknowingly pull us into responding to present day situations in ways which belong to the past and may be disproportionate or even unhelpful to us now. What a learning though, about ourselves, if we can only tolerate these feelings and allow ourselves to really think about what they evoke from our early life, we can gain a deeper sense of ourselves and an understanding of how we relate to the world and those around us and our responses, which can ultimately rescue us from the repetitive destruction and pain we find ourselves reliving throughout our lives.
Can it feel safe to be hopeful and excited about a potential new future? A future which feels so significant in appreciating those little moments which seemed to escape us prior to this appalling pandemic perhaps due to our busy bustling lives, but which now hold so much meaning, thoughtfulness and gratitude.
So, with the dawn of spring in the air and the green shoots of new life and new beginnings sprouting all around us, perhaps it is time to sit back, close our eyes and imagine a dazzling future ahead.